SALVADOR DALI, PLEASE CALL YOUR OFFICE!

There's an old joke: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A fish.




Whenever you think that politics has gotten as weird as it can possibly be, things just get weirder. The Democratic Party and its sycophants are a perfect case in point.



For starters, consider how Democrats and Leftists in general immediately head for the grassy knoll whenever things don't go the way they wanted:

• Al Gore's loss in 2000: Well, even though it was Gore's attorneys who started all the litigation and even though the Supreme Court came to the right decision (albeit with the wrong Constitutional citations) The GOP just had to have stolen the election. After all, it's impossible for a Democrat to lose!


• The folks who think that the 9/11 attacks were an inside job, or otherwise somehow staged by the government are almost all Liberal. They are also the kooks who think there was someone on a certain grassy knoll 45 years ago.


• They think that the elections of 2004 were stolen from them as well, citing irregularities in Ohio. Of course, we are not to consider how dead people become Democrats immediately upon assuming room temperature, especially in Chicago
  

That's right, folks! There's a conspiracy out there for everything. Everything, that is, except the occasional Democratic electoral victory. Doesn't it seem odd that the Democrats, who had majorities at the federal and local levels for decades before 1994, never got around to setting up the nefarious networks the Republicans managed in only six years? Please! Don't try telling me it's because the Democrats are better people, 'cos dat dog don't hunt!

Now we have a new conspiracy out there. It seems that, despite his rather disgusting appetites, former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer was targeted for political assassination by the Bush Administration. That, at least, seems to be the implicit, if not explicit, gist of Scott Horton's piece in Harper's Magazine:

So here are the rather amazing facts that surface in the Spitzer case:
(1) The prosecutors handling the case came from the Public Integrity Section.
(2) The prosecution is opened under the White-Slave Traffic Act of 1910. You read
that correctly. The statute itself is highly disreputable, and most of the high-profile cases brought under it were politically motivated and grossly abusive. Here are a few... [I'll leave out the history lesson.]
(3) The resources dedicated to the case in terms of prosecutors and
investigators are extraordinary.
(4) How the investigation got started. The Justice Department has yet to give a full account of why they were looking into Spitzer’s payments, and indeed the suggestion in the ABC account is that it didn’t have anything to do with a prostitution ring. The suggestion that this was driven by an IRS inquiry and involved a bank might heighten, rather than allay, concerns of a politically motivated prosecution.

Well then! It's obvious! I'm sorry, I just can't take these conspiracy theorists seriously. What Scott Harper is trying to do is defend the indefensible by casting doubt on the motives of the investigators. What he is leaving out is that pesky little fact that Elliot Spitzer has been patronizing the oldest profession for a decade, spending to the tune of $80,000, and concealing his activities from the New York voters, all the while crusading against, among other nefarious no-good-niks, prostitution rings.

What ever the motivations of the investigators, the fact remains that Elliot Spitzer was caught red handed by the very same laws he used to prosecute Wall Street executives and high class pimps.

By that same logic, wouldn't it be fair to ask Client Number Nine what his motivations were when he prosecuted those Wall Street firms? Or when he threatened them with prosecution? Wouldn't it be fair to ask if he had any financial incentive? Oh, I don't mean personally! I mean, the revenue generated by the state government would be quite a feather in the cap for the up and coming politician, wouldn't it?

Meanwhile, back in the fever swamps, we have Geraldine Ferraro making news again. This morning, she tendered her resignation to the Hillary campaign, saying, "The Obama campaign is attacking me to hurt you." Of course, she is denying that she had anything as gauche or racist as we little people might think. She was actually paying Saint Barak Obama a compliment!

I'll let you decide what this comment is supposed to mean:

"I think what America feels about a woman becoming president takes a very
secondary place to Obama's campaign - to a kind of campaign that it would be
hard for anyone to run against. For one thing, you have the press, which has been uniquely hard on her. It's been a very sexist media. Some just don't like her. The others have gotten caught up in the Obama campaign.

"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept."

Now, from my understanding of basic English, she was clearly saying that only Hillary can be a white woman who can be nominated, and that Obama is only getting attention because he was a black man. After all, the only possible reason anyone could dislike Hillary is because she is a woman. This is demeaning to all voters, since it assumes their inate misogyny and racism.

On Good Morning America, Ms. Ferraro made an impassioned defense of her comments, telling Diane Sawyer to "Hold it for a minute..." repeatedly as she rudely overran the interview. You can see a video of the encounter here.

And what was Ms. Ferraro trying to say? ABC News reports: "Ferraro said she was saying that "the black community came out with ... pride in [Obama's] candidacy. You would think he would say 'thank you' for doing that. Instead, I'm charged with being a racist."

There is no truth to the rumor that Saint Obama replied, "Uh... Thanks!... uh, I think."

This, of course, is just par for the course with Liberals and Democrats. They aren't guilty of anything they might do. It is those Evil Republicans, who can't help but trip over the Left's intranigence, that are to blame for even noticing their peccadilloes. Remember Hillary's "Vast Right Wing Conspiracy"? That's another one for the books!

At any rate, that's enough slogging through the Liberal Fever Swamps. I think I'll take a long, hot shower, disinfect my keyboard, and start a course of antibiotics.

I sure hope I don't catch whatever the Kook Fringe has!

Copyright March 12th, 2008

LOOKS LIKE WE NEED A NEW SHERRIFF!

As this is written, it appears that New York Governor Elliot Spitzer, long famed as "The Sherriff of Wall Street", is preparing to resign from his office. Although there are many, including Gov. Spitzer himself, who are trying to portray this scandal as "a private matter", the fact remains that he has abused the public's trust and must resign immediately.

Of course, just like the good Democrat he is, he is trying to cut whatever deal he can to avoid any real penalty for his misdeed. Hopefully, Republicans in New York won't allow him to stay in office, the way the Senate Republicans did with the priapic Bill Clinton.

Let's examine briefly the life and times of one Elliot Spitzer. Fred Dickers column in the New York Post, Bully Gets His Comeuppance, is most illuminating:

A disgraced Gov. Spitzer has been publicly and privately described for more than a year by New York's top political figures as a ruth less, sanctimonious, amoral man whose righteous public persona was regularly contradicted by the realities of how he
conducted his political life.

We are talking about a man who was raised in the tony environs of wealthy suburbs and Ivy League schools, who preposterously claimed to have been raised in the Bronx. He affected an accent and used Brobdingnagian words to burnish his image. Yet his thuggish behavior, as a district attorney, as state attorney general, and as governor was legend.

Although he was caught red handed, in 1994, violating election laws with improper loans from his wealthy father, he eventually went on to being elected New York State Attorney General. The press was oddly silent about his past campaign misdeeds, even letting his repeated lies about the matter stand. He was helped along by his opponent, Dennis Vacco, who had foolishly rejected the endorsement of the Right to Life Party, thereby denying himself thousands of votes and ensuring Spitzer's win in 1998.

Spitzer then went on something of a rampage, prosecuting or threatening prosecution of various Wall Street firms, which may have endeared him to the Liberal elites by raising millions in fines and penalties, but did little to help New York's problematic job market, since firms simply up and left the state for more congenial climes.

And it wasn't just Wall Street executives who were threatened. Sean Hannity has a recording of then Attorney General Spitzer, threatening to use his office to destroy the talk show host for some rough questioning he'd endured on Hannity's national radio program. Can you say "abuse of office"? Sure you can!

From the very first, Gov. Spitzer has been in trouble. Right from the start, he tried using state troopers and the State IRS to discredit state Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno. When word of these abuses of power went public, Spitzer pulled a Nixon, throwing his lead Dirty Trickster, Darren Dopp, under the bus in an effort to deflect the dubious operation away from himself. The spurious nature of these attacks was underscored by the finding of Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, ostensibly a "friend" of Spitzer, that exonerated the Senator. Afterwards, Sen. Bruno had this to say:

"There's something wrong with Spitzer, something wrong in his head. He's a
liar, he's a hypocrite and he cannot ever been trusted,"

It's, to be sure, a delicious irony, that Spitzer's Dirty Tricks squad was trying to pin Bruno to the misuse of the very same state-owned aircraft that the Governor most likely used in his trysts with call girls over the past ten years.

Yes, as a district attorney and as Attorney General, Elliot Spitzer styled himself as a sort of White Knight, defeating Wall Street "crooks" (although John Whitehead's op ed piece in the Wall Street Journal raised some doubts) and escort services alike. And guess what? He was tripped up by the very same laws that he used against his targets of prosecution.

The AP's Samantha Gross and Devlin Barrett describe how Spitzer's illicit activities came to the attention of federal investigators. Banks, it seems, are required by law to report any activities that appear to attempts to conceal (or "smurf" as it is termed) transactions that might be violations of the law. Spitzer's hurried effort to get his hands on $4,000 in cash, coupled with previous instances of similar behavior, set off red flags to investigators.

Spitzer's phones were then tapped and his perfidy was uncovered. It turns out that he'd probably spent upwards of $80,000 on sex with prostitutes, according to the New York Post.

Now, also according to The Post, it seems that he "is likely" to resign tomorrow, depending on if he can get a deal that avoids his prosecution. Of course, earlier in the day, his aides suggested that he'd like to finish off the remaining three years of his term. But GOP legislators gave him a deadline: resign immediately or impeachment begins in forty eight hours.

Now this all may seem to be a local New York State matter, but it can have repercussions on the presidential race. After all, Elliot Spitzer, so long as he's governor, is one of those Democratic Party superdelegates we've been hearing so much about. In fact, he's already pledged to one of the two candidates: Hillary Clinton, the wife of well known philanderer, the priapic Peroni Bill.

God! Don't you just love the irony? What's Hillary to do? Stand by yet another man?

Just a couple of last thoughts on the matter. Is it just me, or is there something really creepy about Democrats who get caught in sex scandals who trot their wives out for the press conference? Jim McGreevy in New Jersey, now Elliot Spitzer. What is most frightening about these spousal appearances is that they seem, well... drugged... for lack of a better word. It's not bad enough that their husbands are cheating (McGreevy with another man, for Pete's sake!) but that the humiliation has to be so public. No wonder they appear over medicated. Either it's the shock alone, or the shock that made the medication so very necessary.

But what goes on in the minds of these women? Why would they even think of appearing in public with these pigs when the news gets out? And how is it that they are the last to hear about these troubles?

My most profound sympathies go to Spitzer's children. These are the real victims of his calumny. The pain they must be going through is unthinkable. And the humiliation to come will be even worse. For that alone, Spitzer should resign.

Elliot Spitzer has finally met his judgement, whether he resigns or not. He has finally been brought down, which given his sordid and vicious career, is only right.

See, Liberals? There really is a God!

Copyright March 11tn, 2008