DON'T BELIEVE IN ELF'S!

What with the attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon on 9/11, the War on Terror, bombing raids in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Somalia, as well as various covert operations around the world, it would be quite easy to forget that, here in America, we have our own homegrown terrorists.

Some of them are radicalized Muslims. Tim McVeigh is often blamed on the Right, although not even the militia movement would have him. And Liberals and other Pro-Choicers love to point to the two or three cases where a Pro-Lifer shot an abortion doctor or planted a bomb in an attempt to prove it is the Right that is violent.

These cases, however, pale before another loosely affiliated group. This group is estimated by the FBI to be responsible for more than 1,200 "criminal incidents (vandalism, terrorism, theft, destruction, etc.) with damage estimates into the tens of millions of dollars. Indeed, this group is regarded by law enforcement and Homeland Security officials to be the leading domestic terror organization in the country. In fact, just this morning, they made the headlines once again with the destruction of five luxury homes in Woodinville, northeast of Seattle, Wa.

This group is none other than the Earth Liberation Front., or ELF. I really don't know why, but when you Google ELF you have to follow a link for Viagra. So please ignore the ad at the top of their site.

Begun in England as an offshoot of the Animal Liberation Front (ALF), the terrorist organization quickly spread throughout Europe, eventually arising in North America. The organization is very loose, with individuals or cells working independently and rarely seeking public attention. This is to avoid scrutiny and surveillance by the authorities.

Although there has yet to be a fatality attributed to ELF, that is merely a matter of pure luck. They are known to drive spikes into trees meant for harvest as lumber, jeopardizing the life and limb of the poor lumberjack who hits said spike with his chainsaw.

Arson and explosives are also a favorite weapon of these "eco-terrorists", as they have become known. Car dealerships that offer SUV's, ski lodges, fur farms, laboratories, almost anything that they can claim is injurious to the Earth and its inhabitants, can be a target. The term they use for their vandalism and violence is "monkeywrenching".

Early acts were rather small: gluing the locks on a neighborhood McDonald's while defacing the property with their mottoes. Spiking trees soon followed, as did actually living in the trees to prevent their harvest. Laboratories were trashed as their animals were "rescued", setting back years of medical research. In one case, dozens of minks were released into the wild, the Elves, as they call themselves, not realizing that the minks would turn on each other resulting in painful death for most of the animals they "saved".

The began to set their sights on bigger targets as time went by. Car dealerships are destroyed on a regular basis. In 1998, they burned down a ski resort in Vail, Co.

They tageted a 200-plus unit condominium in San Diego, Ca., leaving behind posters saying "If you build it, we will burn it" and "The ELF's are mad". This act caused some $20 million of damage and required the heroic efforts of more than 100 firefighters. As noted before, it was only a matter of luck that no one was injured or killed.

The blaze today northeast of Seattle, Wa, comes as Briana Waters' trial for eco-terrorism begins for her role in the destruction of the Center for Urban Horticulture, at the University of Washington's Tacoma campus. Not only are these enviro-weenies dangerous, they aren't too terribly bright. Apparently, they were under the mistaken assumption that the lab they destroyed was engaging in genetic modification of trees for an urban environment. They mistook breeding for gene modification.

The Woodinville homes were showcases of luxury homes that are actually friendly to the environment. They were "Built Green", as the practice is called, using technologies such as water permeable sidewalks, extra insulation, and recycled materials. Unfortunately for the Northwest division of Centex Homes, the builder of the destroyed homes, that wasn't good enough for ELF, which left behind a banner reading ""Built green? Nope black! McMansions in RCD's [an acronym for "rural cluster developments"] r not green. ELF"[sic]

Not only are the ELF's environmentally conscious, they are also only semi-literate.

One thing that should be noted is that firefighters were kept away from the burning homes for fear of booby traps. Again, it is only a matter of luck that no one has been hurt yet by these vicious idiots.

It should come as no surprise that these eco-terrorists are Leftist anarchists, closely related to ideologically to the sort of Marxist bombers represented by Bill Ayers, a friend of Saint Obama (see It's An Obama-nation!) Indeed, their goals are almost identical: the destruction of American economic power, the radical redistribution of wealth, and the institution of socialist Utopian ideals.

Nor should it be news to anyone that their acts of arson and violence are usually more destructive of the environment than their targets themselves. After all, how much worse is a raging inferno, pollution wise, than a McMansion or an SUV left unmolested?

Years ago, Rush Limbaugh coined the term "watermelons" to describe the modern environmentalist movement. For, you see, just like the favorite summer snack, the modern environmentalist is green on the outside, but red on the inside.

Truer words have never been said!

Copyright March 3rd, 2008